Things my child says....

I was outside with Zach, Ry & my Dad....& this is one of the conversations with Z

Me: "Hey Zach, come here & look at this slug"
Z: "Cool"
Me: "I almost sat on it, can you believe it?"
Z: "Hey Pa, look at this slug that came out of Mama's butt"

Let me tell you about my shitty day....

Literally, shit everywhere.  Z is not fully potty trained (I know, I know, he's almost four...blah blah blah, don't judge me!!!), he will not poop on the potty.  Just won't do it.  He usually poops in his pants, takes his pants off & comes to find me.  Tonight, he forgot the come & find me part...so the dog took over.  Seriously, probably the grossest thing I've ever had to do.  The dog ate Z's poop & smooshed it into my rug while I was trying to make mac & cheese from scratch while the children watched a show.  This, my friends, is the story of my life.  So, the long & short of it is, the rug got a good scrubbing, the dog got a bath & I tried desperately to not gag in front of the 3 year old.  Not easy stuff. 

Pregnancy Blahs

I hate being pregnant. There, I admitted it, I said it "out loud" I hate being pregnant. I love my son & will love this new baby too, but I am not a happy pregnant person. Those women who say things like "oh, I love being pregnant, it's such a gift" blah blah blah...yeah, I want to punch them in the face! Ok, figuratively, not literally!!!

Here's why I hate pregnancy:

1. I am not in charge of my body. I can't eat/drink what I want, I have to be careful how much sun I get, how much water I drink, etc.

2. I CRAVE red wine. This happened when I was pregnant with Z too. I crave it. Funny thing about that, I really don't drink much wine anyway, and I switched to Sauvignon Blanc when I do/did drink wine because it's lighter. But still, I crave it.

3. I have very little patience for anyone & anything.

4. I hate the feeling of the baby moving. It freaks me out and makes me feel like an alien. With Z, I didn't feel him all that much. This baby is a gymnast inside me! He's having a blast while I'm suffering the consequences.

5. I have to pee ALL THE TIME.

6. I hate having to pee in public.

7. Climbing stairs is an event for me & I'm winded by the time I get to the top, making me feel even larger than I am (and I'm pretty large right now)

8. If one more person asks me if I'm having twins, I'm going to deck them!!!!!

9. Being pregnant scatters my brain, & I hate feeling stupid.

**Note: I never finished this blog, & haven't had a second to update it since I wrote it last year. The baby is wonderful & I love him more than I could have imagined. BUT, I'm done!

The Adventures of a Zombie Mom

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to have a child. Well, I take that back, for a long time I thought "nah, I'll just live my life to the fullest, have fun, no kids for me", then I sobered up and realized yet again that I wanted a family. I have the most beautiful, wonderful, smart, loving child a mom could ask for. Except for one little thing....he doesn't sleep much. By much I mean that yes, he's back to taking a nap (there was a month that he refused), but he won't go to bed until about 8:30/9:00 pm and is up most days by 5am. Oh, and that's after he wakes up at 2 and tries to come into my bed. So, not only am I getting up at 5/5:30am every day, but I haven't had a night of uninterrupted sleep since I was about 5 months pregnant with him. Yes, I'm complaining about it...and I'm feeling a little whiny too. The biggest problem that I have with this ridiculous sleep pattern is that I feel terrible all day. I'm exhausted, bitchy, hungry (it goes with being over tired) and all in all, I don't want to do a thing all day. On occasion I take a nap when he does, but not often as that's the only time I can get anything done around the house. I feel badly that I don't want to do anything, but it's a struggle to get motivated when I don't have the sleep that I oh so crave.
But I digress.
Today is the day that I change things. Tired or not, something has to change. Zombie Mom is on patrol people...watch out for your brains.